Trade Wars

Alice Liang

 

My father paid my first tariff: a penny for each word 
his mouth failed to form in English. What a venture

bedtime stories became. Late nights, Dad sweats
his retirement against the stock market. After hours,

a teen wipes her brow adjusting bright orange
price tags. At seven, a boy and his new toy

smeared a Made in China sticker on my forehead.
After all this time, I still can’t take a joke, the guck

stubborn on my skin. In China, surveillance lurks
about in silent shutter. Here, the white gaze steadies

on my lower back. There, babies told not to born.
Here, mothers made to birth. On the train, you tell me

about all the nascent atrocities in China as if
I’ve never met my first womb. Its knots not

the shape of my intestines’ tangle. Over here,
someone shushes a young child’s gurgle. Out there,

morning bells blare on someone’s first day
of Re-Education. Testing for what the body

won’t forget under force. Let’s talk about
assimilation. The negotiated speech between us.

I choose not to escalate. Instead, I whisper to the static
of wool reaching from my ribs to yours in half-

hearted agreement. It’s true, at some point, I packed
up that passport at the counter and exchanged it.

On some day, I sealed that language shut
and returned it. On the silent walk back

to my unfeeling apartment, I tally all
that love costs in an economy of fear.