Gut Gravity
Yesenia Montilla
For Chadwick, & My Abuelitos
Proverbs are weaved from reality
This is to say that when little
my mom used to threaten us kids with an
ass-kicking that not even Pupo could fix
& no one knew this Pupo, he resided some
where between our imagination & our hopefulness
A man or an octopus. A hot dog vendor near the corner
of 72nd & Central Park West or a magician
who pulled lamp shades out of hats in Avenida
Cienfuegos my mother’s hometown in Cuba
& what of the ass-kicking, what of the fixing?
It wasn’t till later when I asked my grandmother: Abuela quien
es Pupo? that she explained to me that the mystery man
was a gastroenterologist in Havana, that he cared
for my great-grandmother when the cancer back there
consumed her. That because of him she lived an extra
3 years past her expiration date. Pupo was a proper ass
doctor & he has folklore status among our people.
Memory is a juggernaut; today I think of Pupo
how desperately I needed him in ’99 when
the cancer back there took my mother’s father
or in ’16 when it took my father’s father
his small hole had become a gaping one you could
see through like a window —
All this to say
the colon is a galaxy
made of stars that can go
super nova
& destroy us like a big bang or kill us slowly, methodically even,
while it dares us to create a legacy in 3 years, 2 years, 1 year
– it hands you the Mona Lisa
& challenges you to color within the lines
Wakanda Forever — all that Vibranium, but what we needed
was a Pupo
for the king —
At 38 I had my first colonoscopy, I remember two things:
The doctor was beautiful, the kind of man
only Hollywood makes & I couldn’t remember
if my Brazilian had also included an ass wax
After, when he went over my chart, he said: it was all clear
you have one of the most beautiful colons I’ve ever seen
& I remember blushing as if he’d said
I were beautiful.
& in that moment
I was, because in my family
a beautiful colon is infinite
time; a faceless clock,
a gut full of light, constellations,
gravity —