Pardon me
Don’t be hard on me
But a part of me does shit that’s counterproductive.
I’ve been known to backstep occasionally
& occasionally, I’m destructive
Occasionally, I’m a role model
Occasionally, I’m so hollow
Occasionally, I don’t follow the rules
So don’t judge me.
I try to be better for myself but self-help
doesn’t motivate me
So I search for something else
Is it you?
A reason to survive.
A reason to appreciate life.
A reason to cry out so I won’t be reduced to embers
& die out
Is there any other reason why?
I’m only a man
so don’t judge me if I’m reserved.
At times I’m at a loss for words.
At times I’m lost on words.
At times I don’t have words to express my thoughts
of displacement
So I choose to be reserved.
I’m begging you, don’t judge me.
I’ve never been pure
unless it’s purely flawed and unsure
Unless purity is the act you nurture
Don’t judge me.
My environment is a paradox.
I’m scared but not.
I’m free in spirit but still locked.
I’m tangled up in my morals & my dilemmas
Just never seem to stop!
It’s just the common person perceptions & whatnot.
You see,
Prison contributed to my growth but it slowly eats me inside.
It’s hard to be consistently good while my propensity to hurt is what keeps me alive.
So I’m sorry if my second nature isn’t in society’s favor.
You’ve asked me questions
I must admit I have no answers.
I’m sorry because these “sorrys” just isn’t enough
I’m sorry I’m just trying to stay alive
& staying alive any other way is just way too tough
Don’t judge me!
People lose their minds in here
I’m close!
People fuck around & die in here
I’m close!
People get tired, lose their fire & commit suicide
In here
I know.
So don’t judge me for the false impression
I’m not as good as you may think
Any question is a good question
Come save me before I think.