Fanática

Lily Philpott

to tell you the truth, i am both curious and a little scared
to know what it will be like when i do come back
time passes so swiftly and all things change and so will i
i think it would be irresponsible of me to hope your love
will remain unchanged
– RM of BTS, trans. @btstranslation7

 

Hola, hola! It’s your girl Erica here, bringing you the best of the best of HAB1A content, each and every week. How’s it hanging, corazones? Did you see the picture Juan Pedro uploaded last night? My friend Astrid DM-ed it to me while I was in class this morning and I almost screamed. He looks so hot with an undercut, I can’t even.

Anyway. We’ll get to that later, we’ve got a lot to talk about today! HAB1A’s record label just dropped a fifteen-second teaser for their next music video, and Miguel has his arms out, and we need to talk about it. It’s basically a war crime. 

Just kidding. You know I’m kidding, right, corazones? 

 

Hola, hola corazones! It’s your girl Erica here. I’m really sorry this video is being uploaded a couple days later than usual, but it’s been the worst week. I totally forgot I had a paper due on Tuesday morning, until Monday night at like eight p.m., so obviously I had to pull an all-nighter. I got the essay done in time, but it was the worst thing I’ve ever written, seriously. It was so bad, I was embarrassed to even give it to my teacher.

So I was already sleep-deprived when I saw that stalker picture on Twitter of Richard with that girl. You guys saw that, right? And again, I know, I know. Grown man, stalking bad, etcetera etcetera…but I went into a whole spiral thinking that if Richard has a girlfriend, maybe all the other guys do too! And I know the chance of my actually meeting them is less than zero, but Richard was the reason I got into HAB1A in the first place! When I was having a really bad time in school a few years ago, I think I’ve talked about it on my channel before, I stumbled on the ballads he wrote for their first EP, and they really helped me through a tough time. He’s not my bias anymore, you all know that I live and die at Miguel’s altar, but I’ve got such a soft spot for Richard. He was my first love!

And again, I know it’s none of our business, and we all need to report the account that took that picture, because that is a serious invasion of HAB1A’s privacy and not cool, but reporting it and ignoring it doesn’t mean that it doesn’t exist, right? And knowing that it exists hurts. I kind of feel like I got cheated on. I know that’s a super delusional thing to say, but. You know. We’re all a little delusional, right corazones?

 

Hola, hola, corazones! It’s your girl Erica, and I only have a second to talk, because I am on my way to a fanmeeting hosted downtown by the Chicago HAB1A fan club! We all got together and rented out a movie theater to screen the press conference I mentioned in my last video, and I am so excited, oh my gosh. It’s been so long since we got new music, we have been in a drought, and our boys are bringing us the flood we need! Via, you know, Zoom link from some hotel in Chile. Let’s hope they’ve fixed the mic situation, I know some of you were annoyed at the translations I did for that last livestream, but the mics were actual trash and I could barely hear them. 

Anyway, I’ll be live translating during the press conference as usual, and then as soon as I’m back to my dorm room, I’ll update you guys on everything that went down. Oh shit, that’s my bus! Talk to you soon! 

 

Um. 

Hola corazones. 

Amigas. Amigos. Guys.

It’s your girl Erica. It’s like, three in the morning? I can’t sleep. I know I said I’d update you as soon as the press conference was over, but I think I was in shock afterwards. I honestly don’t even remember how I got back to campus. And I’m still, um. I’m still processing the news, and I might need a little more time before I can talk about it. But I couldn’t sleep, and I couldn’t stop crying, so I wanted to come and talk to you guys, because you get it. Right? You know how it feels, and you also know what it’s like to not be able to tell anyone around you why you’re sad, because they’ll think you’re crazy. My RA caught me crying in the dorm bathroom earlier, and I lied and told her my grandma was sick.

I know Miguel said not to cry, and that it was just a hiatus, and I trust him, but. That’s what they always say before…Yeah. No. I can’t do this right now.

 

Hey guys. It’s Erica. It’s two days after the press conference, and I’m definitely still processing what happened. So, for those of you who are avoiding social media, or living under a rock or whatever: Let’s talk about it. 

So, they opened the press conference like usual, looking so beautiful, but it was pretty clear that something was off. Like right away, I could tell that Richard looked weird. Something about his smile was wrong. And Juan Pedro had such dark circles under his eyes, and he was really fidgety. And then our wonderful Miguel took over, and he did the leader thing, and he started talking about the new album and when it would be out.

I was there with my girl Astrid. She’s another adoptee, just like me, but she’s from Colombia. And we were there on our tablets doing our live translation thing. I get in the zone when I’m translating live, because you have to be so dialed in, right? Your brain is moving a million miles an hour, and you’re taking in the information in Spanish and then shooting it back out again in English, and you’re typing so fast your fingers cramp. So I didn’t actually understand what I had translated until I noticed that the chat was blowing up. Absolutely going wild, like I had never seen it before. My tablet was actually lagging because of it, and I looked over at Astrid, and she had stopped typing, and she was just crying, and then I scrolled back over what I had typed out, and saw that Miguel had just announced that they were going on an indefinite hiatus, effective immediately, and the album they were releasing was their parting gift to all of us.

And Astrid and I couldn’t stop translating, you know? The community needed us! So we cried for a second, and we hugged each other, and then we started typing again while the boys were still talking, and we were just sobbing and typing as well as we could, and I think maybe that’s why I’ve been having such a weird reaction to this news? Like, I didn’t get to react to it the way I might have wanted to. I had to think about the fans, my community. You guys. Astrid and I have talked about this before, how we feel like it’s our duty to be bridges between the guys and you all, especially the fans who don’t speak Spanish. Not that we’re martyrs or whatever, but the HAB1A fandom is so international we have to think as translators first and fans second sometimes. 

And then when I thought about myself, I couldn’t stop crying for like two days. I don’t even know if I can fully talk about it yet. I haven’t even listened to the new album. Maybe tomorrow. 

 

Hola corazones. So, it’s tomorrow. I still feel pretty bad. I stayed up until like five in the morning watching HAB1A’s old performance videos and crying, and when I woke up I was so gross and dehydrated.

So. That’s me. That’s where I am.

What about you guys? Are you doing okay? I read a bunch of your comments on my earlier videos last night, too, and they really cheered me up. So, I know this is a short video, but I really do care, and I want to know how you’re doing.

 

Look, guys, the thing that really sucks, is that HAB1A has been my main source of connection to the place I’m really from. You guys, my day ones, you know that I grew up in Connecticut, right? Like, conservative, forested, boring Connecticut. But that’s not where I’m from. I’m from Chile, and that was always just a weird, like, party trick that I pulled out of my ass every once in a while. This big, random, heavy piece of trivia I dropped on people sometimes. Like, surprise! I was adopted! Surprise! I can’t run for president, because I wasn’t born here! Surprise! My parents didn’t want me, so they sold me to a wealthy couple from America! That’s not true, but, you know what I mean.

Anyway. I buried all of that super deep, like, deeper-than-therapy-deep. Which isn’t healthy, I recognize, but I didn’t know what to do with that information, you know? It’s a lot. No one in my family ever talked about it either. I was just the random brown face in the middle of all of our family photos, and we never talked about how that’s kind of weird. It is weird, right? If you stop and think about it?

So anyway. I was in middle school, and it was the worst. I was really shy, I could barely talk to anyone, and I was just so hyperconscious all the time that I was not like the other kids. And not in that last-girl-standing-in-a-rom-com kind of way, but in a way where I was just constantly explaining my existence to my teachers, to the other students. Everyone.

I felt like a loser. I hated my body, I hated myself, and I just hated being the only one. You know? I was really depressed, obviously, and I discovered HAB1A. And I was like okay, cool, whatever. But, then I learned that they were from Chile, too! And Miguel, our beautiful Miguel, he was like me! Because not only was he from Chile, but he was adopted too. Admittedly, he was adopted by relatives, and he stayed in Chile and grew up there, and that’s totally different, but still! When you’ve always felt like an outsider and then you find someone who gets it, it’s amazing. It kind of saves your life.

So, finding HAB1A was totally life-changing for me. And I know people are always like, whatever, it’s just a boy band, how shallow can you be, but they really mean a lot to me. They really…When I started listening to their music, I felt like I found myself for the first time. I saw myself for the first time. And I felt like I wasn’t just an unexplained extra presence in my own life and my own family. I was more than just a trivia fact, and the answer to an awkward question. I felt…proud. I felt like I belonged to something.

I learned Spanish for them. I learned Spanish from them. From watching their videos nonstop and then getting into the translation community, and now I’m studying Spanish Literature in college. That’s because of them. I’ve started this journey of reclaiming my language because of them. They were my teachers, they showed me my culture, you know? They made me who I am.

And, corazones, can I be honest? I don’t know who I am without them.

 

Hey guys, it’s Erica. Sorry for that kind of weepy video I uploaded yesterday. There’s been a lot on my mind, and I haven’t really been dealing with this HAB1A news that well. I just feel like I have this terrible, gaping pit in the center of my stomach, and it feels like this big empty black hole all the time. 

I googled it to see if it was something to be concerned about, and the internet said that I’m probably depressed. That or I have stomach cancer.

I miss them. 

I was watching old videos of them today, some of their performances of their early stuff, but then I got distracted by that cute video series that Juan Pedro hosted. You guys remember, right? That one from a couple years ago, where he got sponsored by the Chilean tourism board to travel all over the country, and film it, and show it to us, his international fans. I’ve probably seen that series a million times, but it’s so comforting I could watch it forever. I finished my homework with it on mute, and then I watched it for the rest of the night. All the videos, from the desert to the arctic. Juan Pedro is so cute when he gets to meet those guanacos in Patagonia, but mostly, I love how proud he is to be able to show the world how beautiful his home is. My home, too. Well, not really. My birth country.

I’m sorry I’m such a bummer right now, corazones. Maybe after midterms I’ll feel better. Cuídanos, corazones. Take care of yourselves. Tell me something funny in the comments. Or something stupid. Or something sad. Whatever you want.

 

Hola, hola corazones, it’s your girl Erica! Nothing to update you on today, obviously. Still nothing from HAB1A, which, you know what? Good for them, honestly. Good for them. They deserve this rest. They work so hard. And, you know what? They don’t owe me anything. They don’t owe us anything. And that’s okay. That’s okay. It’s good. It’s fine. It’s fine!

 

Hey, corazones. I did something a little bit crazy. Don’t judge me, okay? 

 

Hola, hola, it’s your girl Erica here. I’m whispering right now, because I am actually…in an airplane bathroom. Remember last time we spoke, I said I did something a little bit crazy? So…this is it! I was running on way too few hours of sleep while getting through my midterms and I was listening to HAB1A’s back catalog, and then I decided to google flights to Chile. I’ve never been, and I was just curious, you know? Actually, I take that back. I have been to Chile, because I was born there. But…does that count? I think it does? I mean, it still says that I was born there on my passport, and that’s U.S. government approved, so…that probably means something? But, I don’t remember it, so. I’m not sure.

Anyway, ticket prices were surprisingly cheap—I guess March is the time to fly to Chile, huh? So I did the thing. The crazy, probably stupid thing. I told my parents I was staying on campus for spring break with my Spanish language club, for a weeklong immersion thing. Which isn’t a total lie. I am actually going to immerse myself. Just not on campus in Wisconsin. I’ll be in Chile. I’ll be home.

You’re probably wondering if I’m going to do the crazy stalker thing and try and find our boys, and ask them about the future of HAB1A. And I’m not! Not on purpose, at least. There’s some spots that are part of the HAB1A lore, you guys know them, and I definitely want to visit those places. But otherwise, I just kind of want to be there. I just want to, like, stand on the dirt and exist. I’ve felt so bad, like, truly and desperately bad since that press conference. And I know a boy band isn’t going to save my life, or fix it, or do anything, really. But I feel like if I can be in Chile, and just breathe the air there…I think it’ll fix something inside of me. I really do.

Anyway. That’s the update. That’s what’s happening. Crazy, right? The captain just turned on the fasten seatbelts sign, so I’m going to go back to my seat. I’ll keep you guys updated.

 

Corazones, can you see that? I’m whispering again because it’s super early and everyone else in my row is sleeping. The turbulence woke me up, and I got a little freaked out until I looked out of the window, and saw the mountains. Look! They’re right there, can you see them? Aren’t they beautiful? 

 

Hey guys, it’s me, it’s Erica. I’m exhausted. Completely and totally exhausted. I’m in my hotel room, and it’s nighttime. It’s pretty dark out. I’ve been here for…six hours now? I think that’s right. It’s…I don’t know. I think I was expecting something kind of magic when I arrived, like fireworks. Some kind of bodily recognition, you know? But instead, some grandma ran over my foot with a luggage trolley, and then it took me like half an hour to figure out how to get a taxi. There’s only one airport in Santiago, so the one I was in is the one I would have gone through as a baby when my parents adopted me. I don’t know what hospital I was born in, so that was my big homecoming, but it just felt really disorienting, and I almost had a panic attack.

I speak Spanish, you guys know that, but translating is so different from actually speaking. I’m pretty shy, so I don’t talk a lot in my classes in school. It’s mainly just you guys. And as I was trying to talk to this cab driver, and then to the people at the hotel, I realized that I’ve never really put together sentences of my own in Spanish. I’ve always just interpreted other people’s sentences. And it’s kind of sad, but talking for myself was so strange. It felt like the first time I’d ever done that. Like I was a stranger in my own mouth, trying to learn how to speak for the first time.

Anyway. I’m here. It’s crazy, but I am. This is the view outside of my hotel window, that’s downtown Santiago right there. Crazy, right? You can’t see it that well, because it’s nighttime, but I’m here. It’s…smaller than I thought it would be. But you can see the mountains! Not right now, it’s too dark, but in the morning. I’ll show you in the morning. 

I need to eat. I haven’t eaten all day, and they don’t do room service at this hotel. I’m so thirsty, too, it’s really dry here. I’m a little scared to drink from the hotel tap. The internet says it’s okay, and I drank some earlier, but I have a little bit of a stomach ache now. I guess my body isn’t used to it. I really need to eat. I spent like an hour researching restaurants, and then I got hit with this wave of total panic, and now I’ve been procrastinating in my hotel room for another hour, editing videos and talking to you guys to avoid going outside. But I’m going to do it. I can’t come all the way to Chile and then starve. I’m being ridiculous. This is technically my hometown, I don’t know why I’m so nervous.

What would HAB1A say? They wouldn’t want me to starve. They care so much about their fans. Okay, I’m gonna do it. There’s a McDonald’s across the street. When I was little we used to go there on nights when my mom was working late and my dad didn’t want to cook, and we had burgers and then I got a milkshake as a bribe to not tell my mom where we had had dinner, because she was always on this health food kick. She knew, of course, but she let us have our treat. I can handle that, I think. I probably won’t even have to talk to anyone.

 

Hola, hola, it’s Erica. I’m in this cable car thing, going up a hill called Cerro San Cristóbal, the Hill of Saint Christopher, I think. I’m the only one in the car right now and it’s going so slowly, and I’m remembering my fear of heights. This trip is bringing out all of my anxieties. I came here looking for some kind of emotional closure with HAB1A, or at the very least some kind of understanding of my own personal history. I’m coming to terms with the idea that HAB1A is a little bit of an excuse. They were the lens through which I dealt with all my feelings about being Chilean, and when that went away I lost my connection to this place, and I guess that’s why I bought plane tickets to come experience it in person, instead of just through YouTube videos and concerts. And…I walked right into a brick wall of anxiety. It’s day two, and all I’ve eaten is McDonald’s and convenience store food. I haven’t talked to anyone unless I’m buying something from them. It’s weird.

Anyway. All the tour books say that the best view of Santiago is at the top of this hill, so up I go. How are you guys, by the way? I feel like I’ve just been rambling about myself and my stress for ages. How are you? Let me know in the comments. I’m here. I’m here for you.

 

Hola, hola, otra vez. I’m at the top of the hill, and I just talked with this woman who was my mom’s age. My…white mom. My adoptive mom. Whatever, you know what I mean. But, I guess I should also clarify that it wasn’t my real mom, now that I’m in Chile. I don’t know anything about my birth mom, so any woman I walk past on the street could be her, I guess. But the woman I just spoke to wasn’t. I don’t think so, at least. I might not have had a feeling when I got here. But I know I’d have a feeling if I ran into my mom on the street. Any of my relatives. I’m sure I’d know.

Oh, did I mention that I didn’t tell my parents, my non-Chilean parents, that I’m in Chile? I feel weird telling them things sometimes. I don’t want to drive a wedge between us, so I just don’t say anything. Which probably makes it worse, but it’s easier in the moment. When I told them I was going to major in Spanish in college my mom made a joke about whether I was going to move away to Spain, and I said if anything I’d move back to Chile. I was joking, but she got really quiet and upset about it.

Anyway! The woman I talked to sold me a cup of mote con huesillos, this fruity drink, look. It’s got a dried peach in it, and some wheat kernels. She was so chatty, and she didn’t mind that I was struggling to respond to her. She wanted to know all about me, and why I was on my own, everything. I talked to her for almost half an hour, which I think is the longest conversation I’ve had with anyone since I got here. Maybe the longest conversation I’ve ever had in Spanish, outside of a class? 

She said I spoke Spanish with a Chilean accent. No one’s ever told me that before. 

I just wanted to share that. That she said I spoke Spanish like a Chilean. I wonder if it’s something I’m remembering from a long time ago. Something my brain forgot, but my body remembers? I’m going to try and talk to more people. Put those translation skills to some good use.

 

Hey corazones. It’s day three in Chile. It’s still weird. I’m still not drinking water from the tap in my hotel room. I’ve still eaten mostly McDonald’s, although I went and sat in a bar near my hotel and ate pizza and had a beer earlier tonight. It’s pretty late now, and I’m just lying awake, staring at the ceiling and thinking. 

I went on a little HAB1A pilgrimage today. I’ll show you guys some of the footage after this. I went and saw their first practice studio, and the stadium where they performed their anniversary concert two years ago. That little record store where Richard and Juan Pedro used to busk and sell CDs before they made it big. The street where they filmed their first music video, the one where they’re all wearing those ridiculous baggy jeans and crop tops, and their hair is so bad, but we love them anyway. That café that Miguel wrote all of their third album in. There’s a little picture of him in the window, it was so cute.

But it was also so weird to stand in places that I’ve only ever seen in videos, in the privacy of my own room a million miles away. It was like I sort of didn’t believe any of those places were real until I saw them with my own eyes, and it was so strange. It’s like I have all of these puzzle pieces of myself, and I’m spending this week laying them all out and clicking them together. There’s a lot I don’t know, of course, there’s a whole family tree I’m missing, but I’m discovering what it feels like to walk around in the city I was born in. I’m finding some places I like here, that I would come back to. I’m getting to feel how my jaw hurts a little bit when I speak Spanish all day, because I move my mouth in different ways when I’m speaking it, and I’ve never noticed that before. And those pieces are pieces of me, and my own life, of course, but there’s so much HAB1A mixed in there, too, you know? Because they’re a big part of my life.

I met some other HAB1A fans while I was on my pilgrimage. I could tell they were fans because they had merch—one of them had a Miguel picture in her phone case. I talked to them a little bit and I felt so awkward at first, but then I showed them my HAB1A pins and the Polaroid I took when I went to see them in Chicago two years ago that I always have in my wallet. And it was like I had said the magic words, and I was part of the club immediately. I told them about this YouTube channel, too, so if you’re watching: Amalia, Graciela, y Laura, hola chicas! 

I did want to talk a little bit about what it’s been like talking to people here in Chile. Because I keep saying it’s weird, but it’s weird in a really specific way. Everyone I talk to gets so confused when I open my mouth. Because I look the part, you know? I look like I belong here, but I don’t. I look the part, but I’m not actually the part. I start talking, and my accent might be right, but I don’t have any of the context. I don’t have the right speaking pattern. There’s so much I don’t know. There’s an impossible amount that I don’t know, and that I’ll never, ever know, no matter how many Erica-shaped jigsaw puzzles I put together.

 

Hey guys. It’s day five in Chile. I didn’t film anything on day four because I was in an existential spiral of dread, to be very honest. It took me most of the day to get out of bed. It’s pretty early in the morning now, and I just got off the phone with my mom. My adoptive mom, not my…oh whatever, you get it. 

I didn’t tell anyone I was coming here. I didn’t tell anyone, except you, corazones. Which is crazy, I know, I know. But I wasn’t going to tell my parents. Because this was just supposed to be a fun, weird little trip, and then I was going to go back to my normal life. But it’s been so much harder than I thought it was going to be. And I was up almost all night and I was so tired and so sad that I couldn’t stop crying, and I just really, really wanted my mom.

I woke her up, I think. She was pretty confused at first, and then she was freaked out, because I was crying too hard to talk, and then when I calmed down a little bit and told her what was happening she was really freaked out. But she calmed down enough to calm me down, and I feel better now. Not great, but a lot better. We’re going to talk again tonight when my dad gets home from work. I’m glad they know I’m here now. I don’t know why I thought I could do this on my own. 

I wanted to talk to you guys though, because my mom made me feel better, but she made me feel worse, too. She didn’t really understand why I came here, and when she got over that part, or when she stopped asking me about it at least, she couldn’t really understand why I was having such an existential crisis. I just couldn’t get her to understand why this whole thing might be traumatic for me. And I brought it all on myself, totally, but that doesn’t mean it’s not valid that it’s making me miserable. 

I think there’s this myth, right? This myth that adoption is such a magical thing. And that the people who are adopted are so lucky, and they spend their whole lives being so grateful, to be part of a beautiful, miraculous, rainbow family. And once we’re adopted, that’s that. We’re done, there’s no other questions we’re ever going to want to ask. Because we’ve been saved. Why would we ever question the new, shiny lives we got?

But also, like, why wouldn’t we? My origins are such a huge mystery, why wouldn’t I ask questions about things? And why wouldn’t I be affected by coming home, to the place where I was born, where everyone finally looks like me, but have absolutely no information about? At home I was always an outsider because of where I was from, and now that I’m back in the place I was born, I’m still an outsider. I still don’t belong. And she wants to know why that’s traumatic? Isn’t it obvious?

I keep thinking about that song Miguel sings, it’s called “Entero.” It’s a random B-side on one of their singles. Not many people know it, but it’s my favorite song he’s ever written. It’s all about not feeling complete, not feeling whole, not feeling “entero,” you know? It’s a sad song, it doesn’t end with a major key chorus and a smile, it ends with him promising to do his best to remember that he’s enough. He’s complete enough. I need to remember that.

 

Corazones, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. It’s my last day here, and I’m in this kind of upscale area called Vitacura, just walking around and taking in as much as I can. And I just walked into a coffee shop, and you guys. Miguel is here. Miguel! He’s just sitting outside of the café drinking a cappuccino. Should I go say hi? What do I say? Why didn’t I do my hair this morning? Oh my god. He’s so pretty in real life. Okay. Okay. I need to calm down. Okay. I’m doing it. I’m going to do it.

 

Hola, hola, corazones, it’s your girl Erica here! It’s been a roller coaster all week, huh? Lots of crying, anxiety spirals, depression, questioning my own existence. Adoption trauma. It’s been…wild. But it was all worth it. Because! Drumroll please…I got to meet Miguel!

He was so gorgeous in real life, and his hair has gotten really long! And his skin was so perfect, he was, like, glowing. And his eyes! Oh my gosh, he has these brownish greenish eyes, and they’re so beautiful. I could stare into them forever.

I’m pretty proud of myself, actually, for not totally losing my mind when I was confronted by the real deal. I’ve seen them in concert a couple times, obviously, and I’ve watched and translated a million videos, but I think this week has been enough of an emotional roller coaster that I had no more juice in me to freak out. I mean. I did totally freak out when I first saw him, but I got over it! And I was relatively normal when I spoke to him.

It was just for a couple of minutes, really. I went up and I said I was sorry to bother him, but I wanted to tell him that I was a really huge fan of HAB1A, and that his music had really helped me get through some pretty dark periods in my life. And that I was actually from Chile, I was adopted, but I didn’t grow up here, and listening to HAB1A’s music and learning that he was adopted too, really helped me understand myself. It really helped me get in touch with who I am. And I told him that I thought I came to Chile for HAB1A, but I really came here for myself. And then I just said thank you so much for everything, and that I hope he knows how much he and the rest of the band mean to people around the world.

I got pretty emotional, actually. I was trying not to cry, but then he said he was really moved by what I said, and he actually looked like he was going to get kind of emotional, too, and then I really did cry, and we just stood there on the street sniffling at each other like idiots. And then he thanked me again, and I thanked him, and walked off and hyperventilated as soon as he was out of sight. It was…you guys, it was amazing. But not for the reason you’re probably thinking. Like, obviously it was amazing to see him, and he’s gorgeous, and whatever. But really, it was amazing because I got to tell him how much his music meant to me, and how much it’s helped me become who I am.

They always say don’t meet your heroes, right? But, I think maybe you should meet your heroes, so that you can put your own life in perspective. I came to Chile because I wanted to meet HAB1A, and I did, and I’m so grateful I was sleep-deprived and crazy and bought that ticket, and came here and learned a little bit more about the place that I come from.

And I’m so glad I got to meet Miguel, but the thing that really sticks with me from that encounter is that he’s not that tall. He’s just a few inches taller than I am! He’s just like me. He’s just a guy.

 

Holis, corazones! Do you like that new intro? “Holis”? I learned that slang last night. It just means hi, and it’s not that deep, it’s just like a more informal way of saying it. It’s how you say hi when you greet your friends, and you guys are my friends, soooo. Holis! I didn’t sleep a lot last night, so I’m a little punchy right now. I’m packing. I’m taking a taxi to the airport in a couple of hours.

Was yesterday the best day of my life? I think it might have been. I mean, I met Miguel! That was so crazy, I’m still in shock, a little bit. After it happened I was yelling about it on my social media, and then I started chatting with some other HAB1A fans who live in Santiago and found my account, and I ended up meeting them for dinner—in a public place, I was careful, and obviously I didn’t get murdered, so it was worth it—and then we went to a bar one of them knew, and then we went to karaoke. My throat is so sore, from laughing or singing or just talking, I’m not really sure which one. But it was. Honestly. It was one of the best things that ever happened to me. I’m just. I’m so happy. They were so nice.

You know when you meet people, and they’re just so, so easy to talk to that you feel like you’ll never ever run out of things to say? It was like that. We were just friends for life, immediately. It was amazing.

 

Holis corazones, it’s your girl Erica here! I’m on the plane, as you can see, leaving Chile…for now. I’ll be back. I’m already planning—

¿Hola? No, no, no te preocupes, por favor. Pase, pase. ¿Tiene su asiento aquí? Ah, por supuesto. 

¿Necesitas ayuda con la maleta? No? Okay. 

¿Cómo? 

¿Yo? Me llamo Erica. ¿Y tú? 

Mucho gusto. Un placer. 

¿De dónde soy yo? Pues, yo soy de aquí, pero crecí afuera. Pero si, si. Soy chilena.