surrender

Danez Smith

 

What do I forfeit when I ask him to choke me?
When I vote for a white mayor? When I pay my taxes

& the cops keep needing no reason, but a fear
to kill people of particular skins? I am a man

of particular addictions. What my mother calls God
I call smoke or call on Thursdays to submit to or some

call safety, rock, water, gin, white girl, white girl
money, Allah, meth, whatever you call your tether.

Tonight, I want to burn the tether, see if I fly or drown.
No. Tonight I want to be bound until I become

the binding. Yes. Tonight, I want to give myself over.
Come, sir. Come, honey. Come, drug. Come, officer.

I’m wearing a white tee, blue jeans, no draws & some nikes.
My skin shines in moon, is the moon. I have no name

until you name me. Let me kiss your hands, I want to taste
what will end me.

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